Who Needs a Coach?
February 25, 2010
Sunday’s New York Times “Corner Office” feature included an interview with Jane Eggers, the CEO of a custom T-shirt company with offices in Germany and Boston.
The articles are usually pretty predictable and can’t help but leave the subject looking a bit self-satisfied. Only the very best have a realistic view of their own strengths and weaknesses, a key component of emotional intelligence. They offer a glimpse into how the CEO’s see themselves which probably leaves most of their employees smirking.
Last week, after the usual questions the interviewer asked what is the toughest part of the job and Ms Eggers noted that it was the loneliness. Not having anyone to bounce ideas off. Board members don’t really wan t to know and telling employees will only start rumors.
For many CEO’s the answer is coaching. That is exactly the reason many companies employ coaches for their top level managers. Coaches act like a mirror and while we may not have all the answers, we don’t have a stake in the business, so we can realistically help a CEO ponder the alternatives and at least ask the right questions.
That’s what coaches do. Maybe I’ll write Ms Eggers a note, it sounds like she could use some help.
Laughing at Yourself
It’s probably not good to make fun of your own profession. but I couldn’t help myself when I was introduced the Liza the Life Coach.
But then you really can’t take yourself too seriously these days. It’s too easy to get carried away with our self importance.
I coach because I really enjoy helping my clients achieve their goals and make decisions for the right reasons, but I have to admit when I listen to some of my colleagues or read some ads for coaches, I wonder what these people are thinking.
There are way too many people in the world who are afraid to stand back and take an honest look at what they’re saying or doing. And that goes for more than coaching.
By the way you can see Liza on TV in ads for candy bars. Have fun.
Who Needs People Skills?
February 22, 2010
A lot of executives seem to feel people skills are overrated.
Thankfully the trend is moving the opposite way. I came across a nice article from Harvard Business Review which explains why people skills are needed now more than ever.
Take a look and let me know what you think.
Video, Video, Video
February 19, 2010
I like the video on my website and I thank my web guru Mark Merenda from Smart Marketing for suggesting it. If you read his comments from my January 26th posting you can understand why he uses them.
But there is a right way and a wrong way to make and use video. If you would like to see what I consider the wrong way – take a look.
The irony is that the video was sent out by an organization for HR professionals, who should know better.
The lesson here? Communication is 90% non verbal, and if the style masks the message you’ve already lost the battle.
‘Weird’ Photography
February 18, 2010
Sometime in the next week you will notice that my website photo will change. It’s no big deal but hopefully I will stop hearing comments about my tie.
But, like everything else, there’s a lesson here.
To get the new photo I went to a local photographer. I just needed an image for the page but I never thought to ask about whether the photographer, Nan Phelps in Kensington, CA, used a digital camera.
She doesn’t . Nan uses a Mamiya C330 – a model I used as a photographer 30 years ago. What ensued was a lengthy conversation about whether she should switch, or at least offer customers a digital option.
“Photography is about the process,” she said, “I see it as art, and when I hear about other photographers spending hours digitally retouching photographs I cringe. I don’t mind being called weird, or old fashioned, I have a niche, I’m doing very well, and I meet many starving digital photographers, all stressing the need for a faster and faster turnaround. I just want to say stop.”
She was unmoved by my suggestions, insisting she didn’t care if the digital shutterbugs raced to the bottom offering lower prices.
“I don’t need to update my software or computer every 18 months, and I’m very proud of my work and don’t have to worry about whether an image I took with a digital camera might be one I want to enlarge but can’t.
It was a wonderful discussion and I have to admit she may have won me over. You can decide for yourself when the new portrait is posted, but just maybe, we’d all be a bit better off if we just slowed down.
I know there would be less stress and that could only be good. Thanks Nan.
The Lemonade Factor
February 15, 2010
Our neighborhood has a yearly yard sale. Selling lemonade to the captive audience has become big business for the 8-10 year-olds on the street.
This year the self-appointed CEO of the effort, a 9 year-old girl who is just beginning to learn the lessons of leadership, came to me quite upset. “Sophie wants to let one of her friends, -a seven year-old – work at the stand, but I think she’s too young,” the CEO complained. “ I want Sophie to stay but she can’t just tell everyone they can work,” she’s not in charge.
We talked about the issue for a few minutes and finally came up with a way to tell Sophie her friend was too young to work.
While age may not be an issue in most companies, experience, knowledge and simple managerial preference are often criteria used to create teams which are suddenly expanded when ‘volunteers’ decide they’d like to help out a friend.
What’s the best way to make sure the people you want, are part of a team without any extra ‘talent?’ Now that’s a management question.
Another Phone Story
February 9, 2010
I was recently ‘forced’ to call the customer service line for a large insurance company. I navigated through the dreaded phone tree until I found the appropriate line where I could sit on hold until their customer service representatives could finish ‘helping other clients.’
Nothing new or unexpected, but before the music started a slightly stern female voice came on to tell me they could no longer answer questions about claims more than two years old, that I could only ask about three items, and that all calls would be ended after 20 minutes.
As I fumed about what I could not do, a cheery young woman suddenly came on the line to help me with my problem. The contrast could not have been more dramatic and I told her so. I suggested that it might make her job a little easier if the recording told people what they could do rather than what they could not do.
Innocently I asked, “have you ever listened to that recording?” to which she answered, “why no, but that would probably be a good idea.” Turns out she was a psychology major in real life and, probably to humor me, said she understood my complaint and, thought it was quite justified.
She also solved my other problem, but I can’t help wondering how much the whole dynamic might change if administrators let people on the front lines listen to their brilliant ideas and didn’t leave callers with a negative impression before the whole process started.
I’m sure they don’t really care what I think of their messages, but it has to make the customer service reps job even tougher if the call waiting process creates a negative mood even before any action is taken.
Another example of how just a little emotional intelligence could reduce a tiny amount of unneeded stress for everyone.
Empathy
February 3, 2010
Sometimes a topic comes up so often during the course of the day that you can’t ignore it.
The word for today was ’empathy’ and it followed me around like a lost puppy.
First was a link from the ‘Greater Good’ online magazine at University of California, Berkeley, asking if I wanted to take a quiz testing my Social Intelligence which is really a measure of empathetic response. I’ve taken the quiz before but encourage you to give it a try.
Then, a photographer friend asked me about Emotional Intelligence, which became a brief discourse in empathy and how it was crtical in most managerial situations. Emotional Intelligence is a key part of my coaching practice, although it involves much more than just empathy.
I was reading a Harvard Business Review article on change management and ‘bouncing back’ from crisis situations and the author pointed to empathy as a skill to be developed by a coach helping managers dealing with change.
Finally Arianna Huffington picked her book of the month, “The Empathetic Civilization” by Jeremy Rifkin which basically tells the evolution of modern society through the lens of human empathy. O.k. so that’s a simplification of 700 pages but it strikes me a bit like the old saying “if you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” Granted I should wait until I’ve read the book, so I’ll withold further comment.
But I would certainly admit that empathy is an undervalued quality in managerial circles and I’m certainly glad it got some play for at least one day.
Choosing a path
January 27, 2010
Went to dinner last night at a local deli with an identity problem. The restaurant has been in business for many years and was bought 15 years ago by a couple who have decided to move from traditional deli fare, to a business featuring local, sustainable and more upscale food concepts.
Problem is, the long-time patrons have been complaining that piled-high corned beef sandwiches, while they are still on the menu, have been cut down to size to be more sustainable. In addition local cucumbers to pickle are not available year-round here in Northern California.
What’s a restaurant to do? Well in Berkeley you schedule a forum with some well know foodies – headlined by Michael Pollan – and ask everyone what they think should happen.
I’m not sure what will happen but you can decide for yourself February 9th if you’re in the area.
It’s all relative-a lesson from the beach
Our neighbors in Hawaii are regulars at the local beach, so they know the water well. Recently, I joined them and remarked at how clear and calm the local bay looked. ‘Oh no,’ she said in horror, “the water is murky and look at the waves on the rocks over there.”
How could two people see the same scene and come up with such different conclusions. Easy, she lives on the island and has often seen the water crystal clear down to 10 feet and the surface looking like a large plate of glass. On the other hand, I just visit and often saw heavy surf churning up sand to leave the water cloudy even near the surface.
In life and management it’s not the observation that’s important but the frame of reference. Neither of us were wrong we were just applying different standards – a frequent problem when an employee and employer look at the same situation.