Happiness is Everywhere
April 5, 2012
Suddenly, it seems that we are consumed with the search for one of our ‘inalienable rights.’ It’s not that Americans just rediscovered the Declaration of Independence, or Will Smith’s 2006 movie, but rather, it seems to be the latest social science trend.
Consider it the replacement for behavioral economics the science that became popular after the book Freakonomics tried to explain how economics could explain human behavior. For a few years there was a new book out every month explaining why humans are irrational and how we could be led to do anything with the right incentive.
Now, it seems that happiness, and the apparently futile search for it, has reached the top of the grad student research list. Last month Harvard Business Review (subscription required) focused a whole issue on employee happiness; two weeks ago I received a brochure advertising a full day seminar offered in 8 convenient locations guaranteed to provide me with “effective ways to measure happiness.”
Daniel Gilbert’s “Stumbling on Happiness,” a 2006 best seller may have sparked the recent interest. Gilbert’s book is a well-written and very interesting explanation of how humans define happiness, what it is or is not, and a slightly depressing conclusion that the human mind may never allow us to truly understand what will make us happy. He offers some solace that, at least now that we understand how the human mind works, we will know why we can never find happiness.
Interestingly the writing style and reasoning of the book is quite similar to many of the behavioral economics books, such as “Nudge” or Dan Ariely’s “Predictably Irrational.”
Andrew Weil’s “Spontaneous Happiness,” takes a different approach, offering suggestions for helping us find happiness. His is a less scientific approach and is more a lengthy essay on his own observations about happiness. He offers a number of suggestions of helpful methods to help his readers achieve a state of happiness.
If you are familiar with Dr. Weil’s work you will not be surprised that his suggestions run range from yoga and mindfulness meditation to more secular pursuits such as social activities or laughter. He even offers an ‘8-week Program for Optimal Well Being.”
Dan Buettner, author of “Blue Zones’ which explores circumstances surrounding the lives of the world’s oldest citizens has offered “Thrive – Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way.” He investigates (and I use that term very loosely) the places around the planet judged to include the happiest populations according to annual surveys.
With apologies to Walt Disney, among the happiest places on earth appear to be parts of Mexico, Denmark, Singapore and San Luis Obispo, California. Even Buettner doesn’t seem to believe that any place in Mexico could be judged happy given the violence, but he doesn’t let that stop him from interviewing the population in an attempt to compile a list of factors that will lead to happiness.
After his trips, Buettner develops a list of “Finding Ways to Thrive” which includes items such as ‘put friends first,’ ‘grow a garden’ or ‘get into teaching.’ While many of his suggestions are valid, and some may apply to a lot of readers, his list is so long and tries to be so inclusive that it’s almost useless in trying to help anyone find happiness.
I have no idea what the answer is. Even Gilbert notes that happiness may be impossible to measure because we all use a different scale. A good friend of mine once suggested that unhappiness is caused by expectations not meeting reality. Maybe the answer lies in taking a more honest look at assessing what your own reality is. And that’s something a coach can help you figure out.
A Good Read
February 19, 2012
There are all kinds of book reviews. Those that wax poetic about sentence structure and pacing and the finer points of writing, without giving you any indication what a book is about.
Then there are those who tell you the whole story and never tell you if the book is worth buying.
For me, book reviews should be short and to the point.
If you are looking for a good read, pick up a copy of the “The Lost Saints of Tennessee” by Amy Franklin-Willis. - a debut novel in the best Southern literature tradition.
The genre is really beside the point. I don’t really read a lot of fiction and I’m not from the South, but I can honestly say, when I got to the last page, I didn’t want the story to end. To me that’s the mark of fine writing.
It’s good to know Ms Franklin-Willis is already working on the sequel.
What Color IS your Parachute? – A Review
October 24, 2011
Dick Bolles, or Richard Nelson Bolles- as many folks know him, has been writing his ‘Parachute’ books on career development for 40 years. The latest edition of his signature series continues to be a must-read for anyone looking for a new career or the thousands of career specialists who have followed in Bolles’ footsteps.
You might think that, at 84, the internet or current events might have passed Bolles by, but his 2012 “What Color is My Parachute,’ is up-to date and filled with the same kind of useful information contained in the other 39 versions. In addition to the links I was particularly impressed with his comments about the Microsoft purchase of Skype and what it might mean for distance coaching.
You may not agree with everything he says or suggests, but he lays out sound guidance on everything from finding your mission to negotiating pay.
What you won’t find is any reference to parachutes or colors- a burden that Bolles has been saddled with, since the title of his book was first suggested. When I met Bolles recently he was careful to explain where the phrase came from – an offhand remark he once made about some Episcopal ministers who were going to be out of jobs soon – and that it really has no relationship to his lifelong work.
Bolles uses the tried and true techniques he discovered by accident 40 years ago and combines them now with web resources to create a modern tool for job hunting. His links and references, which are also available on his website, are well worth the price of the book.
They key component of his work is the self-inventory ‘Flower Exercise’ that he suggests everyone use to both define their job search and their skill set. The reality is that you don’t have to wait until you need to look for a job to use the exercise since everyone should probably do this kind of self assessment on a regular basis.
Starting the search for a new job does not just occur when you are out of work but can happen any time.
Bolles writes in a simple, folksy style that is easy to understand and very clear. There is no professional gibberish or double-speak that many professionals like to use. It’s just information, suggestions, strategies and real world common sense.
You may not use everything, but it can be a helpful foundation for self exploration as well as practical tips for interviewing and research. I have some issues with his suggestions for trying to research jobs by setting up informational interviews. I don’t think it’s as easy to do as he suggests but I would never suggest that you shouldn’t try.
Bolles, a former Episcopal minister, makes no secret of his faith and its role in his life and career. He makes no apologies, but tries to limit his faith-based approach to the ‘Pink Pages’ in the appendix but it doesn’t detract from his advice and the usefulness of the book.
Bolles also offers advice for career coaches. In fact it seems at times that his book is directed at coaches and not just the average job hunter. But in my mind that just makes it more useful. His suggestions for finding a coach are important no matter what side of the equation you are on.
One note: I bought the e-book version of the book and while it makes it much easier to get directly to the many links listed, it has made a mess of the charts and graphics. Having read other e-books I know this does not have to be the case, but it’s unfortunate. I hope it will corrected, but I plan to purchase a printed edition anyway.
In short, not matter what version you buy, read the book and you’ll be much closer to a successful career.
Dealing with Pain
September 29, 2011
I recently got over a bout of cellulitis and it brought new meaning to a book I finished a few months ago: The Pain Chronicles by Melanie Thernstrom.
Cellulitis is an inflammation or infection that can settle in a joint and cause severe discomfort until you convince it to leave. I had gradually increasing pain for three days, and couldn’t even walk for a few more, before my crack medical team figured out the problem.
The point is not my problem, but the pain. After just a few days of it, I found new insight into the observations made by Ms Thernstrom and while I would have recommended her book anyway, I would now suggest it as required reading.
If you have ever been in pain, have a friend pain, or think you may ever be in pain, I would suggest you read this book. It really focuses on chronic pain, which is anything older than 6 months, according to medical professionals, but it will give you some insight into what’s going on. I have dealt with this kind of issue in past posts, but Ms Thernstrom does a much more thorough job.
It should also give you new empathy for folks, who have chronic back, knee, leg, neck or any other kind of pain but look perfectly healthy otherwise. Medical professionals know that pain is now recognized as it’s own disease and needs to be treated separately.
As Ms Thernstrom can attest, it can cause both physical and physiological changes that are extremely difficult to reverse. Ms Thernstrom’s book is a first hand account of her own chronic pain and her attempts to deal with it. It is also a well-researched history of how society, since the ancient Greeks, have tried to deal with the concept.
Like many books written by journalists, it is easy to read, clear and lays out the issues in a logical progression.
As we all age, and encounter more and more aches and pains, in places we never knew existed, we need to understand what’s happening both physically and psychologically. Ms Thernstrom does not have all the answers and sadly, she cannot say that she found a magic cure, but she tried a number of techniques and she can at least maintain a ‘normal’ life – something that I found hard to consider as I dealt with my short battle with pain.
The book recently became available in paperback or, of course, as an e-book.
“Feel the Fear” – Dated but Worth a Read
May 19, 2011
I saw Susan Jeffers “Feel the Fear… and Do It Anyway,” mentioned on a coaching forum and thought that it might be useful for me and my clients.
After all, the book has been around since 1987 and launched Ms Jeffers into a leading role in the self help field. Whether or not she’s the ‘Queen of self-help” as her book jacket proclaims is probably up for debate, but she was certainly a leading voice.
Her book is well written, easy to understand and filled with examples to help explain her theories. From that standpoint I wholeheartedly recommend it. From a coaching standpoint I think it has a great many ideas that can be applied to clients who may be stuck or afraid to take action.
This is particularly true of the first nine chapters where she presents the nuts and bolts of her approach with techniques and exercises designed to get people moving… in any direction… but at least off square one. Her concepts on reframing situations, decision making and dealing with issues holistically were pretty new in 1987.
I guess that’s where some of my reservation sneak in. As I read, I couldn’t help but think that somehow it all seemed a bit dated. I was reading the 20th anniversary edition, published in 2007, but it didn’t appear that many examples or theories had been updated. Not that people and their roadblocks change that much, but it could just have used some examples from something I could identify with more easily.
After all, in 1987 no-one knew what ‘www’ stood for, and Steve Jobs was running NEXT Computer, probably thinking, “I wonder how I could be more Important.”
Maybe it’s just living in the Bay Area, but I think the world has changed significantly since 1987.
Ms Jeffers’ last two chapters venture more into the spiritual realm, starting with love and trust and moving on to the ‘inner void.’ Worthwhile areas to explore but definitely a bit of a departure from the first chapters. Looking over some of the titles on her web page, it’s clear that she has gone on to expand many of the chapters to individual books.
But, “Feel the Fear…And do It Anyway,” is a great introduction and has lots of suggestions for dealing with clients who can’t seem to find the motivation to get started and I would recommend it.
Now, I just have to figure out why I wasn’t more motivated when I finished reading.
Thinking About the Brain and Pain
March 8, 2011
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the brain recently. If you’ve read any of my book review posts you know I have an interest in how the brain works and what makes us, us.
But, over the last three weeks there seems to be a convergence of sorts. Two weeks ago the Wisdom 2.0 Conference was held in Mountain View. Billed as conference seeking “deeper meaning” in the modern technology-rich age, the event focused on mindfulness and trying to get participants to ‘be’ present, rather than always looking to something in the future.
The speakers were among the biggest in the field. If you are not knowledgeable in the field, trust me, those in the know, such as my wife, told me the people on stage were the thought leaders. What was more interesting to me was the attendees – well over half the crowd was made up of coaches of one type or another.
There were a few physicians, a couple of psychologists and many practitioners of mindfulness, or meditation of other holistic practices, but the largest group seemed to be coaches.
A key focus of the event was the effect of mindfulness on the brain and the enhancement of cognitive abilities.
Around the same time several articles came out noting the impact of the brain on pain.
One of them suggested that a patient’s expectations would impact their pain level and that the expected outcome of a surgical procedure was affected by a patient’s psychological state. My wife, the pain psychologist, has been telling me this for years.
Then, last week I attended a meeting of the Northern California Association of Pain Psychologists to listen to a lecture by Dr. Sean Mackey of Stanford on what happens in the brain when we experience pain. I had recently finished Melanie Thernstrom’s “Pain Chronicles” which I found quite compelling so I thought lecture would be interesting. Plus my wife didn’t want to drive alone.
Dr. Mackey is head of the Stanford pain program and is known world wide for the studies they do trying to isolate how the bran processes pain and other emotions.
Finally, I was brought full circle back to the Wisdom 2.0 coference by a New York Review of Books article on V.S. Ramachandran’s The Tell-Tale Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Quest for What Makes Us Human
I’m not sure what all this means but it seems clear the topic is pretty hot.
Think about it and let me know what you think.
How To Make a Change
September 19, 2010
Change is never easy. Organizational development specialists have made careers out of teaching companies how to successfully adapt to it
. Not surprising, numerous books have been written on the the topic.
“Switch” by Chip and Dan Heath is just the latest to win public attention and climb up the list of business best sellers. It is well written, entertaining and filled with the usual list of everyday examples which ‘prove’ the authors’ contention.
Maybe I’ve just read too many books which claim to hold the key to effective change management, or maybe the authors just make it seem too easy, or perhaps I spent too many hours trying to motivate people or organizations, but it’s just not that easy.
The Heath’s use an Elephant and Rider metaphor to illustrate their theory. It’s just a more concrete way of explaining the rational vs emotional brain dichotomy. They admit the metaphor is not their own but they have adopted it to illustrate the need for a three-way change process.
In a nutshell, the Heath’s note, people need a rational fact-based reason to change, but they also need an emotional reason to make a move and they need to have a clear path. Their theory makes perfect sense, and they have numerous examples of how managers used their reasoning to make changes.
From Brazilian railways to the Woman’s Cancer Center at UC San Francisco there are numerous examples of how managers created both a rational and emotional reason for change and then put people on a path and direction they wanted. I’m not sure the managers they cite were consciously following the logic because they read the book or because it just seemed like the right thing to do, but it worked.
I think you learn more from mistakes than success and I would have liked to have seen more examples of change management that went awry when they attempted to use the theories in the book but maybe that’s too much to expect.
Still, I think the book is worthwhile and provides some valuable insights into some successful changes and can provide the underpinning for an organization or an individual trying to make a change.
It’s certainly another example of a technique any coach can use to work with client’s who say they want to change but can’t seem to get moving.
As I noted in an earlier post this was my first electronic book. I downloaded it from Amazon and read it on my iPad. Emotionally I just wanted an iPad, rationally I could carry this and many other books wherever I wanted and Steve Jobs certainly made the path pretty easy to follow.
E-Book Reading
September 15, 2010
I completed reading my first electronic book recently. (Review to come shortly) The only thing I can say is that reading a book on an iPad (or any other device) is, well, different.
Little things I’m used to doing, such as thumbing ahead to see how many pages are left in the chapter, are more difficult.
Highlighting text is easier, once you understand what the device or application wants. Reviewing all the highlighted material, to help write a review or for research, is certainly much easier.
I was worried that my eyes would get tired quicker but that proved not to be the case. Downloading the books has been easy although, not every service has every book, so it sometimes takes a bit of searching. Browsing the online bookstores is certainly not as pleasurable as strolling through my local bookshop. You have to know what you want electronically speaking, before you go start.
Using the iPad was easy enough although it can’t be used in every situation and I doubt I would take it to the beach. But I was able to take several books on a recent trip with little or no extra weight.
It will be a while before electronic books replace the printed word. There is still something more satisfying about holding a book in your hand, but I have already downloaded a few more and I’m sure, in time, iPad reading will become my regular habit.
Seasonal Writing
August 10, 2010
When I finished reading Michael Pollan’s “Second Nature” I wished there were more seasons.
Pollan, who is now famous for telling Americans what they should eat, began his book-writing career with a work on gardening, and like many others he used Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall to keep things organized.
I just wish there were some extra seasons so he would have written more. I’m probably biased since I enjoy digging in the dirt and my career in journalism matches Pollan’s.
If you have read any of Pollan’s other works you will recognize the meticulous research which backs up his simple but eloquent style. The book traces his own life in gardening from his grandfather who loved to garden, to his father who had no use for even mowing his front lawn, to Pollan’s own love affair with a farm he owned in Central Connecticut over twenty years ago.
Along the way we learn where the American passion for green lawns began, where weeds come from and why there are so many rose varieties.
My favorite chapter is Pollan’s analysis of the seed and flower catalogs that every gardener gets. Pollan has more than a little fun explaining catalog hierarchy.
Pollan also dispenses a fair number of gardening tips although they’re often hidden among the philosophical underpinnings of compost.
About my only criticism, from a California perspective, is that some of the gardening advice doesn’t really apply to the conditions we have here, but if you have a green thumb or just an interest in why things grow, “:Second Nature’ is worth a read.
The Real Eco-Story
July 16, 2010
If you are among the legions of Americans looking for the best way to rescue the planet from ecological disaster, Fred Pearce’s “Confessions of an Eco-Sinner” is a must read.
While Pearce is based in England and his examples and specifics are tailored to the experiences of that country, his investigations are enlightening for anyone who has ever wondered what ‘fair trade’ really means.
Pearce takes number of common beliefs or trademarks and follows them back to their source to see if they are really having the ecological and economic impact we expect.
So, for example, he traces the origination of ‘Fair Trade’ coffee to see if there really is some benefit to farmers. He doesn’t just research the topic in books and articles. He’s attends coffee bean auctions in Kenya with the buyers of the coffee and interviews the farmers who make more per pound for their fair trade crop. He asks them directly, if the extra work is worth it. He is not the most popular man in the room.
He looks at the common banana and finds the seeds of an impending economic disaster.
He looks at cotton, “The Fabric of our Lives,” as the ad tell us and finds out exactly what it means to the plant, whether it’s grown organically or not.
He looks at everyday items, from aluminum beer cans to the shrimp cocktail, to find out the real costs of production.
Not all the news is bad, some stories have a happy ending creating a system where both the people and the planet benefit, but it’s his intrepid investigations that are the real story.
Unless you’ve done considerable reading, or conducted your own research, I doubt you’ll read more than a few pages before coming across nugget that will have you reconsidering what you do to save the planet.