“Feel the Fear” – Dated but Worth a Read
May 19, 2011
I saw Susan Jeffers “Feel the Fear… and Do It Anyway,” mentioned on a coaching forum and thought that it might be useful for me and my clients.
After all, the book has been around since 1987 and launched Ms Jeffers into a leading role in the self help field. Whether or not she’s the ‘Queen of self-help” as her book jacket proclaims is probably up for debate, but she was certainly a leading voice.
Her book is well written, easy to understand and filled with examples to help explain her theories. From that standpoint I wholeheartedly recommend it. From a coaching standpoint I think it has a great many ideas that can be applied to clients who may be stuck or afraid to take action.
This is particularly true of the first nine chapters where she presents the nuts and bolts of her approach with techniques and exercises designed to get people moving… in any direction… but at least off square one. Her concepts on reframing situations, decision making and dealing with issues holistically were pretty new in 1987.
I guess that’s where some of my reservation sneak in. As I read, I couldn’t help but think that somehow it all seemed a bit dated. I was reading the 20th anniversary edition, published in 2007, but it didn’t appear that many examples or theories had been updated. Not that people and their roadblocks change that much, but it could just have used some examples from something I could identify with more easily.
After all, in 1987 no-one knew what ‘www’ stood for, and Steve Jobs was running NEXT Computer, probably thinking, “I wonder how I could be more Important.”
Maybe it’s just living in the Bay Area, but I think the world has changed significantly since 1987.
Ms Jeffers’ last two chapters venture more into the spiritual realm, starting with love and trust and moving on to the ‘inner void.’ Worthwhile areas to explore but definitely a bit of a departure from the first chapters. Looking over some of the titles on her web page, it’s clear that she has gone on to expand many of the chapters to individual books.
But, “Feel the Fear…And do It Anyway,” is a great introduction and has lots of suggestions for dealing with clients who can’t seem to find the motivation to get started and I would recommend it.
Now, I just have to figure out why I wasn’t more motivated when I finished reading.
Credibility and Coaching
May 11, 2011
A former client called recently to tell me she had a new job.
After the usual “congratulations-and-good-luck” chat she admitted that she was a bit nervous about her new post. She’s working for a very large corporation, supervising 50 employees, spread across several offices in various parts of the state.
What makes her most nervous is that it’s in a new field and the panel that interviewed her made it clear they need a ‘change agent.’ She has supervisory experience and has worked for large corporations but she was worried that her lack of expertise would lead to mistakes.
I encouraged her, explaining that if the hiring board thought she could do the job, she shouldn’t worry and pointed out that she may not have expertise in the field where the main business makes its money, but she did have plenty of experience in marketing, which is what she will be doing.
I then offered to act as her coach again to which she replied, “They already assigned me one, I haven’t met her yet, but I know she’s best friends with my boss.”
I was encouraged that they were astute enough to have coaches on staff, but I wonder how unbiased the coach might be if she’s that close to the boss. Who knows when something, told in confidence, might slip.
I’m willing to assume that the coach is professional and can separate personal from coaching relationships, but it seems to me that she already has a a credibility issue with my friend and no matter how hard she works there will always be some doubt about who’s best interests the coach considers paramount.
It was clear from our short chat that my friend had the same reaction but it left me wondering how committed to coaching the company really was.
A Coach for Your Boss
April 27, 2011
A friend of mine recently asked me if I would coach his boss saying, “He really needs help, because he’s making everyone miserable.”
Of course, my initial reaction was positive but I decided to ask a few questions first. Since I usually encounter a boss getting a coach for an employee – the situation was bound to be awkward.
For example, does your boss want a coach? Does he know he’s making his employees miserable? Is ‘everyone’ really everyone, or just you? Maybe there’s a method to his madness.
My friend admitted he didn’t know the answers to all my questions, but he was adamant that his coworker needed help. I should note that the man in question is his boss in title, but really a co-manager on pretty much equal footing at the company.
According to my friend he doesn’t see the problems he’s creating, and worse, sees coaching as an admission the he’s doing something wrong and needs to be fixed.
Fortunately my friend has a bit more enlightened view of my profession – if he didn’t I guess we wouldn’t be having the discussion.
I suggested several ways (some slightly tongue in cheek) we might be able to make it easier for his co-worker to see the light.
o I could visit the company and give a management presentation for the whole staff, or just to managers since the company is relatively small.
o I could just give him a brochure, to drop surreptitiously on his co-worker’s desk.
o I could sign on as my friend’s coach in the hope that his fellow-employee would at least ask “who’s the new guy?”
o He could approach their board of directors with a coaching proposal for all their managers – starting at the top.
o He could just ask his co-worker if he would talk to me about what coaching was help him get through his misconceptions.
I don’t know what my friend will decide but my hope is that he will let me just talk to his co-worker about coaching and let him decide for himself. It’s almost impossible to be an effective coach if your client is not committed to the process, since you have to get past that fact that he was pushed into coaching before you can address any management issues.
Insurance Idiocy
April 21, 2011
An errant rock, thrown up by a truck on Route 80 in Berkeley , broke my windshield and has launched me into the Alice and Wonderland world of auto insurance.
Replacing the windshield at the local Toyota dealership will cost about $1,000. Replacing it with non-factory parts will cost about $300.
With a $250 comprehensive deductible, the obvious choice would be to make the claim, and let my insurer, State Farm, pay. So when I call my local agent, where I have done business for over 15 years and never had a claim on my house or either car, I explain the economic incentive, and ask if there’s anything he can do to at least reward me for for doing the right thing and having the glass replaced at the lower cost.
The reaction: silence, … and more silence.
“I’m saving you $750 and there is absolutely nothing you can do about the $2500 in premiums I pay every year for two cars and a home?” I ask.
“No, nothing,” is the only response.
If you wonder, why people are frustrated with insurance companies, and banks, there’s your answer. I don’t have time to to add more I’m off to the Toyota dealership.
Negotiating an Ending
April 18, 2011
Recently a new client posed a different kind of employment question. She’s a hi-tech executive working for a small private company where she is a partner – since she put up some original capital.
After 8 years, she would like to move on and has already been approached by a larger public company. We’re working on what she would like for pay and benefits, but to my surprise, she hadn’t given much thought to her exit strategy.
“My boss knows I’m unhappy, but he doesn’t care,” she says, “That’s why I want to leave.” I asked if she had tried to negotiate her departure, just like she was trying to work out a deal at the new company.
He response was a short, “Why bother,” adding that it would involve options, her original investment and a host of other issues she didn’t want to deal with. “I just want to see the look on his face when I walk in and quit,” she said.
I guess she didn’t really expect me to react, since she had asked me to help with her new job, not the old one. But I was slightly incredulous.
Why wouldn’t a negotiated settlement, with possible severance and recovery of some portion of her original investment be enough incentive to at least approach her current boss.
Her major worry was that she would be fired on the spot, a scenario that, after some evaluation, she concluded was not very likely.
She was so frustrated with her job that she was blinded to what she was leaving ‘on the table’ just for the short-term satisfaction of telling her boss off.
I pointed out that since she was just in her 30’s, leaving with at least a ‘non-negative’ settlement and her reputation intact was probably even more important than the financial aspects. I guess I got her attention and she has agreed to at least think about approaching her boss.
She’s fortunate in that she already has a new offer and not everyone can walk into their boss and demand a severance package, but it’s worth noting that how you leave a job can be just as important as how you start.
JaMarcus Russell’s Coach
April 15, 2011
I read with some interest this week that personal coach John Lucas has quit as an advisor to former NFL quarterback Jamarcus Russell.
- JaMarcus Russell
What interested me was not the actual facts of the situation but more the online reaction. For you non-sports fans, I would point out that Mr. Russell was talented college football player drafted to the NFL and signed to a $40 million contract by the Oakland Raiders. After four unsuccessful seasons, where he was accused of being out of shape, unprepared and a poor leader, he was released and has not played since.
John Lucas is a former NBA player, and drug addict who has turned his life around and now, as a personal coach, helps young athletes get their careers back on track. Lucas had been working with Russell in Texas.
Apparently, Lucas ‘fired’ Russell this week and has told the young man to leave Texas where Lucas is based.
Of the 60 or so comments I read, many focused on the sad state of Russell’s career, but more than a few reacted to the coaching relationship. Things such as, “If he needed a personal coach, he must have been in bad shape,” or ” Only losers would need a coach.”
I can’t vouch for Mr. Lucas’s skill, although he has a pretty good track record, but it was a bit dismaying to hear that view of coaching. Does the general public feel that only people in tough situations need help or that coaches are a last-ditch method to get things turned around?
Personal coaches can help anyone with decision making – even coaches need a coach. The list of ways that a personal coach can help a client is endless.
Usually my reaction to situations like this is simply “any publicity is good publicity,” but it would seem that the coaching profession needs a little PR help.
Most of my clients don’t feel they are losers, but that’s not a particularly good sample, since they obviously are already using a coach. But maybe one of the large international coaching organizations needs to do some research to find out what people think about the profession.
How Steve Jobs Saved My Dad
April 10, 2011
By now, the blogosphere is filled with stories about senior citizens who are using iPads or iPhones to keep up with their grandchildren.
But I can say truthfully that they saved my Dad’s life. No, he didn’t fall and use his iPhone to call for help and he wasn’t rescued from the bottom of some deep ravine while completing his ‘Bucket list.’
My Dad will be 91 later this year. He’s survived the death of his father on the eve of the Great Depression, and three shrapnel wounds in the War to End All Wars, to send three children through college during 62 years of marriage to a woman he met on a blind date.
Maybe the depression he entered three years ago when my mother died was predictable but when it didn’t seem to dissipate and his eyesight deteriorated every phone call seemed to involve something about death and how he wanted to be with his wife.
But in 2010, Steve Jobs, introduced the iPad and several months later the iPhone 3.
My brother, who does technical support for living, is always an early adopter of technology, especially anything Apple related. So, when the new products came out, it allowed him to get a spiffy new phone and the ‘magical and revolutionary’ iPad.
He recycled his old phone to dad – who already had a cell-phone which he never used - and on more than one occasion he brought his iPad to Dad’s house.
As you might expect, technology is a bit of a challenge to a 90 year old and in most cases when my brother brings over a new gadget, Dad gets frustrated and just gives up.
This time, he never gave either of them back. He pointedly refused to give the iPad back.
For the first time in years, since his eyesight began to fail, he could read the Boston Globe every day. Better yet, he’s learned how to download e-books and, as he notes, “I’ve read more books in one month than I did in the previous 89 years including school.” Both of them are better than large print books since he can make the type as large as he wants.
It’s not unusual to get a text from him when he’s visiting family in New York or Florida and one particularly memorable trip with me, and my sister we were all sitting a lunch, deeply engrossed in texting messages to my brother rather than enjoying each other’s company. I’m not proud of my actions but the fact that Dad had joined right in, brought a smile to my face.
Now he can keep up with what’s happening with his my sister in San Jose by reading the Mercury News, and with the latest catastrophe in San Francisco, by looking up SFGate. He’s a regular on the New York Times website and reads the latest financial news at the Wall Street Journal.
He devoured all the Robert Parker, Spenser mysteries (mainly because Parker was from my home town and the books are all set in New England) and today he informed me that he’s on to Arthur Conan Doyle and Sherlock Holmes.
We no longer have discussions about how his misses my mom, although he surely does, and he’s never bored or depressed as long as his iPad and iPhone are fully charged.
Thanks, Steve, Dad will text you when he has a minute.
Tsunami’s Big Winner on Big Island
March 30, 2011
At the risk of sounding a bit callous, it’s not too early to count Michael Dell as a potentially big winner from the Japanese disaster.
Four Seasons at Hualalai
Mr. Dell owns the Hualalai resort complex on the Big Island of Hawaii and while his two major resort hotels suffered significant damage and are now closed, it looks like the long-term impact will be positive – for him.
Both hotels, The Four Season’s Resort and Kona Village have loyal fans – albeit on distinct end of the resort spectrum. Kona Village offers a kid-friendly, family oriented, no-frills package which is popular with a wide variety of customers including Apple Computer’s Steve Jobs.
The Four Seasons caters to the upper end of the income scale and the Hualalai location has long had the highest occupancy rate of any Four-Season’s run facility.
Both resorts are currently closed - the Four Seasons until April 30 and Kona Village permanently.
But don’t shed a tear for Mr. Dell, insurance will cover most if not all his losses and will also allow him to complete some much needed renovations that were planned, but he would have had to finance on his own. Don’t look for construction photos anywhere though, the resort is keeping a tight lid on any information and employees who have been called in to work have to sign a non-disclosure agreement promising not to reveal the extent of the damage to the resort.
Workers are racing to meet the April 30 deadline when the insurance coverage for employee wages runs out and many locals have doubts about an on-time completion. Several island fund-raisers, including the annual Cancer society’s Cattle Baron’s Ball, April 16th, have already had to find new homes, but the events will be held.
Workers at the Four Seasons who have been impertinent enough to post, what they thought were innocuous pictures of storm damage, have faced disciplinary action, including firing.
Guests who were not able to be accommodated in the adjoining Hualalai condo/home complex, were shifted to nearby hotels, providing a bonanza for the Mauna Kea, Hapuna Prince, Mauna Lani and Fairmont Orchid properties – although they certainly are not getting the ‘Four Seasons Experience.’
As for neighboring Kona Village, many of the small homes, or hales, were knocked off their ocean-front foundations and a number were destroyed. Rebuilding would require permits under new building regulations with much larger setbacks, so Mr. Dell has decided just to convert the property into an extension of the Four Seasons.
Kona Village has always had the better beach, but if the county approves, that beachfront will now be surrounded by several hundred new rooms at $800-$3000 per night, in place of the $3,000 per week package plans that Kona Village featured.
Sounds like a win-win situation if you are Michael Dell. He wins on both ends. We’ll see what happens when the actual applications get filed – the natives are already upset.
Making Money From Emotions
March 25, 2011
A week or so ago, I posted an item about identifying emotions by reading facial expressions. It was a local test that expanded on some well-known international studies about the universality of emotions.
To me it was an interesting exercise in emotional intelligence, but, as we all know, there may be other uses. Leave it to the folks at the MIT Media Lab to figure out a way to monetize your smile. Yes, there’s an App for that.
This week’s Science Friday on NPR has all the details. I don’t have any comments beyond, it figures. Let me know what you think.
Re-inventing the Wheel at Google
March 19, 2011
A week ago the New York Times, featured an article on a lengthy study done by Google on management practices.
I’ve been stewing about it ever since.
Despite Google’s protestations, it seems to me that they spent a year re-inventing the wheel so that their “data-driven employees” will understand their rationale in trying to improve the performances of the managers.
The study uncovered 8 secrets to better management and Google then ranked the ‘secrets’ and began implementing them. I’ll let you read the list and their implementation on your own, but any executive coach or organizational development consultant, or even any good manager could have created the list and developed a blueprint for implementation.
Yes, having data being behind your plans adds credibility, but so would successful implementation by a professional. What Google really found out what something that every other business discovers: technical expertise does not make you a good manager. Or put another way the skills that you need as an employee are not the same as those that you need as a manager.
I guess in all their vaunted testing they never realized that while logic and test-taking skills may be able to predict employee success, they do not translate directly to the ‘soft skills’ that managers need to make their employees better. Now, as competition grows and other businesses are stealing their employees, they have discovered that managing a staff takes some skill and actually translates to the bottom line.
I worked with first-time managers in a variety of industries and the one unanimous concern they have is that the technical skills that got them noticed as a potential manager have nothing to do with the skills they need once they are promoted. I guess it’s good to know that a year of research by Google has led to the same conclusion.
If that’s not re-inventing the wheel I don’t know what is.
Google has been in the fore